


You are hard to read, but I still care

by DynaEvangeline



Series: Advent Calender 2k17 [23]
Category: X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Light ones but they are there, M/M, Mostly monologuing between the two about each other, Short but has some feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 09:00:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13120467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DynaEvangeline/pseuds/DynaEvangeline
Summary: Doing a fic for every day up until the 25th and I am back on track. With only one more to do after this. After that I will be back to some planned fics.





	You are hard to read, but I still care

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ArgusJade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArgusJade/gifts).



~Charles~

It had been years, the past was full of mistakes. Some of them his own, in fact he felt for sure a lot of it was his own. Erik had been so closed to him and now that was gone, he had lost not just a fellow friend but a lover. He had tried fixing it, but so much anger that he didn't know he could feel had just escaped at the other and the more he let that go on, the further the two were from each other now. In the end he had pushed everyone away but Erik the most and there was just a pain in his chest when he thought about them. They were once so close. 

Charles had told him his every want and desire for the future, and so far those desires had come true, later than planned but still there. He had opened his school for mutants, to help others but it wasn't just for the curiosity of there being more, and them needed to learn. A part of it was too make up for failing Erik. For not delving enough into his pain to see it. To really see it, he had just assumed that it wasn't there anymore but that was wrong and Charles did not want anyone else to feel such a way because of his failures. The school did well, but he still lost some. To Erik himself and as the long years went on there was more fighting between the two of them than there was kind words and there was so much regret at that. 

Now he felt it as he sat alone, in his office watching the rain tap against the windows. He hadn't bothered with a light, it felt right to be sullen in the dark hours of the day. The mood was just right for it. One day he had come to his senses and tried to repair the bridge between them, but it was burned. You cannot bring back the past but you can try for the future. While the love they had was gone and he mourned it, he did not give up on the hope they could start a new. Friends, allies. In the face of the world that was trying to tear them all apart. Erik had been right, not completely but in a big part. Standing apart did nothing for them and Charles knew that. He wanted to fix it and have the other at his side when the worst came to be. He could only hope Erik would understand that.

~Erik~

He was used to pain and disappointment but it was different when it was Charles. He trusted him to be there, to have his back. To give him what he needed and to help him and he had at the start. There had been nothing better. Erik had not felt the way he did about Charles with anyone else. But it was gone, one moment and it was all gone and the years between them just made it worse. He was bitter, watching the other get everything that he had ever wanted. It was almost too much, knowing that Erik was no longer on that list. Just a long forgotten face from the past, one that didn't matter in the same way. 

Then Charles reached out and perhaps that was not the case, it was still hard and they would never have what they did, too many years of betrayal and pain and fighting between them but they could build. Start a new and see where it went and Erik was for that. The world was turning out just as he had thought, mutants feared and hated by so many. Erik could see the hate in the eyes of the world, just as he had as a child and he would much rather be at Charles side and keep him safe. Than lose him over past regrets. The past was the past and he wanted to leave it that way. Let the future be their goal and let them defend it together and make it the place that he knew Charles dreamed of. That they both wanted by Erik was never blind enough to believe in. Together, perhaps they could change that.

**Author's Note:**

> Doing a fic for every day up until the 25th and I am back on track. With only one more to do after this. After that I will be back to some planned fics.


End file.
